Today I would be learning how to manifest my hearts desires - does wanting $10 million dollars, a home in Hawaii and Brad Pitt make me seem shallow? But what if those ARE my hearts desires? Frankly, how hard could this be? Didn't the secret teach us that its about focusing your energy and if you believe enough you can get it - so where is my $10 million dollars already?!?
Apparently there is a part many people miss, actually figuring out your hearts desires. Hmm. World Peace? Too big? Umm, how about never having to do dishes or laundry again? Too small? Well, shoot. What then?
There is apparently a technique to be able to manifest your hearts desires - it is the result of deep reflection, an understanding of the way we see ourselves and how we communicate to others (and ourselves) about our desires and as there is no such thing as the past or future (only now) it must be a statement in present tense. How come this feels like the hardest test I have ever taken.
We broke my (and most people's lives) down into 6 areas: Health, Spirituality, Relationships, Finances, . Then we meditated. Today was hard. My mind kept jumping back in saying "Hey! Don't forget about me! I want a say too!" leaving me (and apparently Marion who was channeling my energy) with a headache. After only a moderately successful session, we attempted to focus on what I wanted out of these 6 areas of my life.
(Insert Jeopardy theme song here)
It's not that I don't know what I want, its more like under these guidelines (rules, Rules, RULES!!!) it proved to be the hardest thing I did all week. Marion told me about how when Moses was given the 10 commandments (rules) he asked God what he should say about who gave them to him. God apparently answered "I am that I am".
While I struggled (the theme for today) to comprehend the true meaning of that statement, the words "I am..." resonated in my ears as the most self-affirming statement one could make to define themselves. Not I want. Not I will try or my favorite, I think... So I quickly jotted down notes about who I am, but before I knew it, it was lunchtime. Apparently, this would be my last assignment for the week, to go home and complete these for myself.
After lunch, being that it was 150 degrees outside, we were going to a "swimmin hole" too cool off. YIPPEE! As much as I like the desert, this kinda heat gets to a girl. We drove through more beautiful red rock country and went on a small hike that led to Oak Creek at the base of Cathedral Rock - the most photographed spot in all of Sedona. The water was crystal clear and cool and rushed over beautiful red boulders before it pooled up in a small...swimmin hole. I donned my bathing suit a big floppy hat and sunglasses and sat down in the creek. I closed my eyes as the cool, crisp water rush over me. Then I had a memory, a vision of sorts, of my experience with patience. So THIS was patience. I liked it. I think I could get used to this patience thing.
An hour or so later it was time to return home for dinner and my evenings treat, a massage (YIPPEE). On the way back to the car, I was looking down (which you should always do in rattlesnake country) and discovered a heart shaped red rock, just like the ones I photographed at Gary and Marion. I squealed like I had struck gold and Gary walked back to me. Approving of my finding he smiled and said, "That is a good one, except that little chip out of the top right corner of the heart". Thinking I was all profound, I quickly responded "It's ok, I like it. After all, no one is perfect." He smiled at me and turned back to our path saying "I dunno, I think we are ALL perfect just the way we are - chips and all".
I got back in the car and looked down at my chipped heart when a thought occurred to me - I am...whole, just as I am.
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